Friday 14 March 2008

Old Before My Time...

Or at least, that's how it feels at the moment! I keep slumping forward in my chair like some sort of octogenerian, completely knackered. Perhaps the fact that it's Friday has had a reverse effect on me; usually, such news fills me with an almost superhuman energy and I feel as if, just by going out, I am all set to take over the world. Not today, it would seem.

I'm sure I'll muster up enough energy once I'm actually out of the school building. If not, I'll have to force myself to, since E finished her dissertation last night and wants a night on the tiles to celebrate not being confined to her laptop with endless cups of coffee and muttered swearwords. it will also be the first time I've seen my beloved T for a few days.

'A few DAYS?!' I hear you cry, 'That's not that long at all!' Maybe not, but on Tuesday morning, T and I were so hungover that we were in no fit state to have a proper goodbye. Any notion of a real kiss before he drove to work and I walked to school would have resulted in wanting to vomit, we both felt so terrible. Still, T, a bit like Fridays, fills me with something of a superhuman energy and I'm sure I'll be my usual chirpy self once I've seen him today.

I'm having to write a PowerPoint presentation currently and one of the slides attempts to explain existentialism. The fact that I, an existentialist in my own right, cannot have my spirits raised by this notion is just stone-cold proof that I'm not in the right frame of mind for anything other than fun. This tiredness is worse than the kind where you just want to unwind - this tiredness stems from boredom. All the energy that will go into dancing tonight (and a few intimate things with T, I imagine) is being forced to stay put. It has to park its bum on this dingy IT room chair made of grey plastic, like a little kid waiting to open presents on Christmas morning.

The downside to all this fun and frolics is that I will be in no fit state to do much at work on Saturday morning. It's their own stupid fault for forcing us to start at seven. It's not like I can even call in sick, because my last month's pay was so lousy (totally not my fault, before you ask, there were traffic issues left, right and centre) and you can't match that disappointment of placing your card in the cash machine, all full of hope and spending plans, then having proverbial tenners ripped up and thrown over your head like confetti.

Ten minutes to go until the lesson's ended. The outside world looks so beautiful and vibrant by comparison! I can hear the IT technicians next door; total nerds, but the kind that are so very nerdy that they think they've got one over on you by being so tragic. Not that I'm not something of a geek myself, but at least I actually make contact with the outside world!

Seven minutes now, I had best put my presentation on the teacher's memory stick before she sees me using a Blogger account and chastises me.